Can I Get it On Credit Before Filing Bankruptcy?
 
I'm so glad you called me. Nobody will talk to since I filed bankruptcy
 
Ask them if it's true what they say about phone telemarketers
 
Ask them to hold for a moment, leave them on hold.
 
Change languages every few seconds.
 
Converse with them using movie quotes only
 
Haggle over the price.
 
Hand the phone over to your kids, ages 2-6, tell them to talk to grandma!
 
Keep asking Ya got any gum?
 
Keep repeating to them Is that you Vinnie?
 
Let them go through there entire little speech and then tell them that your parents aren't home...even if you are the parent.
 
Play drunk, slur your words, and insist you know them and try to figure it out.
 
Tell them you don't have a phone.
 
Tell them you just lost your job, are going through a divorce and may have to declare bankruptcy, but sure I'll buy one. And then ask them if they take personal checks.
 
Try to sell THEM something, don't let them off until they buy
 
Wait for them to go through their whole 5 minute spiel (while watching TV) and when they ask if you're interested, say, Oh, you still there? No thanks. <click>
 
Time? Life? I'd love them! Do you have them in Braille?
 
Ask What kind of underwear are you wearing? Describe them.
 
Ask them if they would have a problem shipping it to Somalia
 
Ask them Repeatedly Did ya ever wonder why... be creative!!
 
Ask them whether they like what their doing, don't let them off until they share their innermost feelings
 
HELLO,CALLER NUMBER ONE,YOU'RE ON THE AIR.
 
I'm sorry, your call did not go through. Please hang up and try your call again - this is a recording.
 
Insist on using telepathy to communicate.
 
Just lay down the phone, it's their quarter!
 
Let them say their bit and the tell them that it might attract the aliens.
 
My name's Barney, do you want to be my friend?
 
Pop a balloon by the phone and scream.
 
Pretend you can't hear them - Hello . . . Hello?
 
Pretend your an answering service, get their name, keep repeating it back wrong.
 
Repeat every single thing you say...........Repeat every single thing you say...........twice............twice..............
 
S-p-e-l-l o-u-t e-v-e-r-y w-o-r-d y-o-u s-a-y.
 
Say This is my business line. Would you mind calling me back at ....(then give them your fax/modem number)
 
Say hold on, then test the smoke detector in their ear.
 
Scream profanities at them, then apologize saying you have turets syndrome
 
Start arguing back and forth between your multiple personalities on whether on not your getting a good deal.
 
Start pitching your own product, inferring that they're competing for YOUR sales time.
 
Tell them you're depressed. Get them to cheer you up.
 
Tell them you've already got one
 
Pretend they are your long, lost friend Larry
 
Misty's Escort Service, how may I help you?
 
Thank god you called! Please help me, I'm being held captive in the basement of...oh, no, he's coming back! No! HE'S GOT A KNIFE!!!AAAAAHHHHHHHHHH...<click>
 
(out of breath) You're just in time for the ritual. We have a dog today! Want to join us?
 
Answer the phone: AT&T what city please?
 
Ask them advice on best way to apply Preparation H
 
Ask them how you drive a phone solicitor mad?...Ask them how you drive a phone solicitor mad?
 
Critique their sales pitch
 
Proudly state that you know 38 ways to kill a man with a snow shovel.
 
Say in a loud voice Yes officer, this is the guy who's been calling me on the time. Trace the call
 
Say, I wonder what THIS button does and cut them off.
 
Try to sell them carpet cleaning by the Jehovah Witnesses
 
Um. Can you hold on a second? The prisoners are escaping.
 
You must be mistaken, this is an IRS auditors office, stay on the line for a minute while I trace your call.....
 
Sing American Pie incessantly
 
Be sure to post your favorite ways to annoy telemarketers in the comments.

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